Hi, my name is Flyroc and I’m looking for a new owner. My current Master purchased me at the Merrimack River Trail Race and one week later took me on a 10 mile jaunt in Blue Hills Reservation. It’s the only time I was able to run wild since April. Although he told me he was very pleased with my performance, he said my low heel caused pain to his plantar fascia. I told him to stop being a candy-ass sissy-boy and to man up. He responded by tying me up and stuffing me into a dark, cramped cardboard box. I haven’t seen the light of day in four months. I really need to feel the earth beneath my endurance rubber soles and the wind through my breathable mess uppers. Won’t you please help me?
I am extremely loyal and require very little care. I do not need to be watered or fed and only need an occasion bath when I become so stinky that your significant other will make me sleep out on the back porch. I will protect you from all harm (below the ankle) and will bring you hours of freedom and joy. I am most happy when running over gnarly roots, ridiculous rocks, wading through water and muddling in mud. Sorry, I do not enjoy long walks on the beach, unless maybe it’s at the Cape Cod Frozen Fat Ass. In that case, you better be moving faster than a walk or you’ll freeze off more that your ass.
If interested in a mutually satisfying, long-term (as in 400-500 miles) relationship, please contact me here.
PS If you're one that believes size matters, then I'm a size 10.5.